Screaming Bloody Murder

God's got a plan for me.

Guess what. During CNY I went back to my room at the residence to get some stuff. My room mate's stuff had already been cleared. In case you've forgotten, I have a pure native Chinese from the motherland as a room mate, and upon his being assigned my roommate, I stopped staying there and have yet to spend a night in my room. So, I thought that my Chinese room mate had gone back to China for Chinese New Year. Somehow, it wasn't the case. I don't know how. It's like you see Garfield and a Lasagne in the first picture of a garfield comic strip and you expect Garfield to eat it. But BAM! He starts masturbating. But to my defense, I bet all of you would've thought the same. You racist bastards.

Turns out, he's finished his course. From the timetable he left on his cork board, it seems that he was doing an english course. I had to learn that from his cork board because, when I asked him what course he was doing, he replied:

"Sorry, I no understand."

Wow. And he's done in 3 months.

I feel pretty bad that I didn't get to say goodbye to him. Technically, we were roommates. And now he's gone. Never will I get to know his name. Never will I know how on earth he managed to stink the whole room up. Now all I can do is picture him waving goodbye as he flies off, saying:

E.T go home.

Anyway. The HELP shuttle busses are really shitty nowadays. The drivers tend to idle at the main block for like 20 minutes before carrying on with their route. I can see why it's perfectly normal to require a 20 minute break after 5 minutes of driving from one block to another. AND BACK. Tiring shit right there. I think we should buy the drivers lunch for their hard work and dedication.

I mean. You can't really blame them for being so demotivated to do their job. I myself can't think of a possible incentive for bus drivers. Like, if they drive their asses off; shed blood, sweat, and tears in steering that beast; or even if they are the best damned bus drivers in the world, what's in it for them? A promotion? Instead of a HELP bus, they get to drive a Rapid KL Bus (Or known to bus drivers as THE big R). Nice.

I mean. There's a reason why you don't see games centered on bus drivers on facebook. You've got Restaurant City, Farmville, Bla bla bla, but NOT Bus Street or something. How on earth do you level up? Please. Even being a werewolf gives you better prospects at moving up in life.

Well I'm gonna tell you one thing;

I don't got the patience or the time.

Nightswimming

Deserves a quiet night

Brace yourselves.

I'm up. It's 3am and I'm up. I stayed up to watch the Chelsea-Liverpool match, and now, I can't sleep. I don't like my head. It thinks too much.

I think I enjoyed 2010. My brain slept the year away, up until December, when Edexcel brought it back from the dead. I sometimes wish that I would care less. I sometimes wish that I could stop worrying. I sometimes wish I could forget. I am my own anal friend.

Fun fact number one. If you have, in any way, crossed me, I believe, I would still remember it. I'm incredibly bitter and incredibly good at being so. In actual fact, I hate a lot of the people around me. The only difference is that I rarely show anything. But no. I bet you'd bet that I'd blow someday. Well, as my discretion would have it, I would only if I don't need you.

I'm a hypocrite. And I hate hypocrites. My hypocrisy knows no boundaries.

I have never changed the "about me" on my blog because it has always held true. No shit. Much unlike my banner, my not changing it is not due to laziness. On that note, I think Im going to change my banner soon.

ANYWAY.

CNY was crap. Why do we even celebrate it? Most celebrations are rooted in very primitive beliefs and traditions. I believe that the exchanging of Christmas presents manifests from the joy from which man derives from receiving presents; I believe that hindus pierce themselves to inflict pain onto themselves, "sacrificing" themselves to the gods in a way, and I believe the muslims sacrifice cows etc, frankly because people need to eat, and the cows aren't going to slaughter themselves. Pardon my misinformation, I choose to believe that things are so, for the sake of this post. But now. How on earth did man see the need to exchange money. Or oranges. If you had oranges, and I had oranges, I might steal your oranges- falling prey to greed- or I might hide my oranges and guilt trip you into sharing your oranges. But never would I think of exchanging our oranges. Never would I think of exchanging my packet of 10 dollars with your packet of 10 dollars. The only reason I would think of giving you my 10 dollar packet is the anticipation of you giving me one with 20.

So, there you have it. CNY is celebrated either for:

1) nothing

or

2) shortchanging.

It's either so profound that it's stupid, or just simply, pure evil.

I was sick on the first day of Chinese New Year. I got very little angpao this year. I had no new clothes. This year's CNY was horrible.

OOOH. crap. Better sleep. Nights.

I'm not sure all these people understand.

Kids.

Control yourself;

Take only what you need from it.

The next time my blog goes dead. It would be because my penis had been severed. by a pencil sharpener. Or any cutting tool of an equal or smaller size. And I would either be dead or playing with my new toy, assuming, of course, that I were forced to undergo a sex change operation.

There. Motivation to never stop again. I need to write continuously. Before my english deteriorates so badly that I would appear jaundiced. Of course I wouldn't. But I'd seem more yellow, more chinese, in all your minds.

There aren't many outlets to write. Especially since I'm only doing 4 subjects; none of which require much writing. And there's only that much thought that can go into that little stupid wall post or status. And only that many friends to bug on facebook. And only that many things to comment on.

Anyway. I just finished my exams. I finally feel like my brain's alive again. I've been pretty much dead through 2010. That's what you get if you start college in July. Your brain doesn't kick back on just like that. It takes time. In my case, it took 6 months and an exam. Of course, I had National Service for the first 3 months. But who am I kidding.

Exams were horribly timed. I would much rather Edexcel take away Chinese New Year than Christmas AND New Year's. And what's best, I have another 3 to go through. I will not be able to enjoy my December holidays until December 2012. Provided, of course, the world doesn't end. And I don't die before that. If I do, I ask for nothing but that last line be quoted repeatedly to bear testimony of my prophetic powers. Name me a prophet and start a new religion.

I had this dream a week or so ago. I was sitting for a paper. A-levels paper. Important as ever. Not in college, but in my paternal grandparents' house. And out on the street, Coldplay was playing. I had to choose between A-levels. Or Coldplay. I fucking chose Coldplay. I'm not proud of myself but that's what my sub-concious did. What's funny is that a few days ago, someone told me that Coldplay was coming down in May. Edexcel exams are in May. Yay it's going to happen! OH fuck it might happen. I get to see Coldplay. I fucking might miss my paper :O

I curse a lot.

Next time.

You were a child.

Halo.

Remember those walls I built;

Baby, they're tumbling down.

Life's been really great. I always have something to look forward to, and things to look back on in elation. Seriously, great things have been happening to me.

Just last thursday I went to Mid Valley after my class ended at 10. I had already planned on skipping maths since I would have had a 4 hour break before my next class, and I'm lazy like that. Besides, I had some errands to run. I left Mid Valley at about 2. At least I planned to. Scrap that. At least I tried to.

I paid for parking and headed off to my car. I then realized that I had no idea where I was parked. Luckily, my car has this button on the remote control that, when pressed, makes the car wail in the most annoying of high-pitched alarm sirens. So I walked around pressing that button, over and over again, while walking through one floor. Had no luck in finding my car, so I walked to another floor. No luck again, so I tried ANOTHER floor. After about 20 minutes, still clueless about the whereabouts of my car, I revisited the floors I had already tried looking for my car on. I went to all floors, over and over again, but with no luck; no alarm going off; no sight of that gay maroon car.

The parking attendant saw me countless times, going in and out of the parking area. He asked to see my ticket. I took it out and whad'ya know.

It's written on the ticket.

I was parked in Zone A and I had been walking through Zone A, B, C, D etc etc, looking for my car.

Just when I thought I've exhausted my one week's worth of stupidity, I found my car. Really.

I mean, just when I thought I had been stupid to my personal max, I realized that I had NOT actually maximized my stupidity. By pressing the button over and over again, I had run the battery dry. What makes it interesting is that, without my remote control, I can NOT open my car door without sounding the alarm.

And my car will not start with the alarm on.

Nothing greater than having your security system turn on you.

Well, luckily, the guy who wanted my parking spot was in a City as well, so he borrowed me his battery to unlock my car :D But that was after 30 minutes of trying to figure out a way out of that pickle.

I left Mid Valley at 3.30 (Y)

Went to Pandan Kapital to cut my hair. I changed my remote control batteries there and they cost me bloody 24 ringgit.

Just when I thought it was over.

My remote control wasn't functioning still.

And somehow, some way, my security system acted up on me again. Even when I did not arm the alarm. I couldn't start the car. So I sat there, in that one car in the dark and eerie underground car park, trying to figure out why.

I finally replaced the batteries in the remote control and that fixed everything. Stupid woman couldn't read + and - properly.

JUST WHEN YOU THINK IT'S OVER.

Stupid as I am, despite having a back sensor that goes teeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet once i've gone too close, I backed up into the wall.

The power of not thinking. It makes for great experiences.

Hm. Let's see what else hath chanced.

On Friday, I woke up a little late for class. To make things worse, it was Chem with Kana (Y). I "rushed" to College and reached the main block at 10.10. Reached class at 10.30 because of the stupid shuttle bus.

Anyway, she didn't even ask why I was late. I was actually late because of a fallen tree on the MRR II O:)

That was what I was scheming to tell her on my way to college. It was plausible since it rained that morning. But since she didn't ask, It seemed as if she didn't care. Or so I thought.

I was texting in class, handling a rather important situation. My phone was placed on the table, hidden by the person in front of me. There was no way Kana could have seen it. But she could have seen my eyes looking at something on the table. And she did.

She slowly moved to the right side of the room, her eyes fixed on me. Seeing her do that, I slowly inched my phone toward the left, hiding the phone from her view. It was as if her eyes and my phone were at the opposite ends of her line of vision, moving in unison, in opposite directions. I knew she was trying to see if I was texting, and she knew I was trying to hide my phone. And it was all happening in 2 seconds. It was that awkward.

Until she finally asked:

"What are you doing?"

At that time, I knew I was screwed.

"I already tolerated you for coming late for class, now you're texting in my class. GET OUT NOW."

There it was. The "I already tolerated you for coming late for class". Ahh. Just when you thought menopause was reversible.

I got kicked out of Kana's class.

That was that. Came 30 minutes late and left 30 minutes early (Y)

Hmm. what else, what else.

Oh yeah.

I'm in love :) With Tan Su-Yin. With her, everything just feels so right.

I know. My great life seems to have more unfortunate episodes than happy occurrences.

Well.

No matter what, life's going to suck someday. You just got to find the one who can colour your world. The one you just long to be with after a bad day. The one who's there for you. And I've found her :)

I swore I'd never fall again;

But this don't even feel like falling.

Flowers In The Window

There was no one there to hold,

Before I swore;

That I will be alone forever more

I shall start blogging again.




Lets watch the flowers grow :)

Look at us now, flowers in the window;

It's such a lovely day.

And I'm glad you feel the same.

Slow Dancing In A Burning Room.

It's 3.30am. I'm at the common area with Jamie. I went to bed at 11pm yesterday. Wait till I tell you how.

So I went to bed at 11pm. I was sleeping soundly until someone knocked on my door. Before I got the door, it was opened from the outside. Creepy as it was, I wasn't scared. My mind was still asleep. With your mind going at 1/1000th of what it normally does, all you have is stupidity.

It was a lady from the residence office.

I have a new room mate.

They woke me up at 1 to tell me I have a new Chinese room mate. And by Chinese I mean from the motherland.

I just woke up so I took it with a smile, my primal stupidity kicking in. Only while I was sitting on the bed, gradually gaining sobriety from slumber while I watched my roomie unpack, did I realize how fucked up I was.

I waited for him to go out then I called Jamie.

"Can you stay up with me tonight? In Starbucks? Or McD? I don't want to sleep in my room."

And she's still here with me now. ILY JAMES! :)

I want to go home :(

I don't want to stay in the residence anymore! :(

I will NOT sleep in the same room with a complete stranger.

OH OH OH and to make it more interesting, I have a Chemistry test tomorrow. (Y)

WHY CANT JPA PAY FOR SINGLE ROOMS. GRR.

Back.

Tonight I Can Write

Those were the words that preluded a giant leap in my life. And they reverberated through time, space, and my mind. Echoing, time and time again, only reminding me of the obvious lament that I hide and cover up with pride. The lament I never had. Some might ask, what exactly is this leap. I would not disclose, or maybe I would, but in no honestly, just to throw you off. But maybe I would tell you the truth in anticipation of your disbelief.

I think the biggest mistake I ever made was taking English Literature.

It's been awhile since I last blogged. I think part of it was because whenever I come back to my blog, with all my enthusiasm, I read the first few lines of my previous post, and that enthusiasm dies. 'Tis true, life goes in circles. No, life is never good all the time; yes, you will have bad days and no, you should never record and proclaim your elation when things go your way; because when things go wrong, it rubs itself in your own face. You salt your own wounds.

You know, before I left for the holidays, I think two mosquitoes flew into my room. While I was gone, they were fcking behind my back. The proof? When I came back there were like tens of baby mosquitoes. And they're so annoying. I sit down to study and they buzz around me, then causing me to waste time standing in the middle of the room with a book in my hand while looking at the walls for the contrasting black of the mosquitoes against the white of the walls, squinting and then lunging at every glimpse of a mosquito, only to lose sight upon moving. Every once in awhile, I succeed, and utter the words "bitch." in in-your-face-celebration.

I have class tomorrow from 3-5. 3-5 on a Friday. Sucks doesn't it? I might just skip it. But Is that attitude going to land me in cambridge? OH HELL NO. The odds are against me even if I do go, so, what the heck. right? It sucks to be stupid.

Nights.